


Learning to Kiss Angry Butterflies

by 1under_spectra



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Action, Alien Sex, Blood, Dubious Morality, Fear Play, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sensory Deprivation, Tentacle Sex, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12196623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1under_spectra/pseuds/1under_spectra
Summary: It's a thing, a beast, a monster, an alien, a being. 27 years later, It finds Bill in the sewer and he's a little confused.





	1. Nailed It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Darkdagers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkdagers/gifts).



> (Obvious character actor change, I’m planning to continue this story with James McAvoy in mind!)

He hadn't been in these sewers in 27 years, he was lost, and Eddie was right, it smelled like piss and shit. It was dark and cold and he was angry. He was excited and determined and shaky because he'd spent 27 years thinking of being back in these sewers, looking, and finding.

 

And there it was, the tail end of a waxed paper boat flowing through the grime and down around the corner. A meek, silent display, he almost missed it! 

 

"Son of a-" Bill cursed and ran forward in the sewage, turning corners and down hallways, the boat was almost out of sight when he slammed hard into an almost unmoving body in the dark.

 

"Billy!" It whispered in his face before shrieking loudly. Bill stumbled back but It shimmied after him faster, driving him up against the wall of brick. Flat pain broke out as his head thudded against it and in front of him were rows of teeth and nearly the amount of drool. Was he still so weak after all this that he'd been caught? Was the Clown this strong?

 

Teeth retracted and It looked down at him as he struggled. "Get off of me, you're disgusting!" 

 

It was indignance more than anything else. Anger and hatred and indignance, not fear. They glared at each other cruelly for a moment, only the sounds of the sewer stream around them. Then the oddest noise began and Bill looked down to see another set of arms with puffy gray sleeves emerging from around It's torso. It was bizarre to watch such an unnatural thing, not even movie magic could recreate the noise and effect of the new appendages suddenly reaching for him.

 

He was too late trying to get away. The Clown had two hands rubbing and caressing new bruises into his face and neck, just like the time before...and two new hands fastening to his wrists and forcing them up against the wall.

 

"There's 7 of us you piece of shit!" Bill screamed, "we can take you down because we know what you are now! Mike and Ben, they're huge and they'll kick the shit out of you like last time! Bev and the guys, they're smart, they know!" It moved a shaky hand over Bill's mouth and yanked it open, two gloved fingers heavy on his tongue to hold it down. It had taken Bill's voice away too now. Whatever happened to him, the others were strong enough together. Maybe he'd gotten lost on purpose.

 

The Clown shushed him, pressing harder on his tongue and bending Bill's head lower. "But they don't have you. You followed my boat so far, far away that they won't hear you. And they'll follow my boats too, my, my balloons." It shifted closer while Bill struggled against the grip. His own spit that gathered on the edge of his lip spilling over into the water below. 

 

Without much thought, the Clown leaned in to lick it up like an animal, dipping it's tongue into Bill's mouth in the stroke. Bill froze and choked. It stopped the Clown too. It's forth hand settled around Bill's neck, and Bill felt all but nailed in place like a butterfly. He looked up at It with his head bowed, fingers still firm on his tongue, more saliva spilled over and the Clown drank it up, it's tongue pushing past it's fingers into Bill's mouth and Bill moaned in protest but he knew what was happening. He was afraid. 

 

It lived on fear and It hadn't frightened Bill since childhood, but now his eyes watered as he watched the Clown grow increasingly interested. It's breath quickening, it's mind working, staring at Bill's mouth like it was food itself. The Clown removed it's fingers quickly and fish hooked Bill from both sides instead, coming down on it like a beast would and Bill howled. He expected to have his mouth torn into with it's needle sharp teeth, to be devoured face first before It moved onto his friends, but it was moaning and grunting, licking and pushing and searching in his mouth like a confused animal.

 

Bill had time to open his eyes and try to look around him, staring at nothing but ruffles and feeling the thick warmth of It's body covering him. It smelled sweet like candy and flowers. Why flowers?

 

It's tongue stroked against his and Bill moaned again, shutting his eyes. He was afraid because he was ashamed. After everything, after what happened to the many children of Derry, Bill's body was getting hard from the Clown. It pulled back with full cherry red lips as wet as Bill's, breathing uneven and lidded eyes. Bill halfheartedly struggled and was met with the Clown coiling tighter around him. He pulsed in his jeans. Blood fattening and heating him up. The Clown threw it's head back, feeling Bill's fear wash over it, and something else. "What is that?" It asked. 

 

Bill refused to answer. "What is that?" It asked more desperately. It attacked his mouth wildly again, it couldn't even really be called kissing, just pressing and nipping and licking and breathing into. Burrowing it's nose and lips against his cheeks and neck. It stopped with it's mouth on Bill's, gasping against him. It's shaky hands running over his face again, along his neck, thumbing past his lips to shyly touch the tip of his tongue. It was the most erotic thing that had ever happened to him. 

 

The Clown pushed his tongue slowly inside again, tilting it's head and Bill's breath caught. He licked back, brushing up and into It's mouth. 

 

It recoiled in surprise and sweat crested on Bill's skin, he shivered. It almost looked like Bill had slapped It, but then they were kissing, sort of. Kissing because It had again tilted it's head and Bill opened his mouth to welcome It, kissing back.

 

Something about it made Bill feel like he was doing _something_ , like at least he could win at _this_. The Clown jerked and mewed against Bill's lips shamefully pulling back again like it was near an orgasm. "More," It asked Bill shakily. "More, more."

 

"Okay," Bill said. "Let go of-m-my hand." 

 

It did so, violently as if said hand had burned it's gloved skin.

 

Cautiously Bill pressed the hand to It's heavily clothed torso and brought it down under the skirts, rubbing the middle. It felt...off. It also didn't seem to have the effect Bill was looking for. It stared back at him silently now. _What the fuck was he doing?_

 

_Punch It in the stomach! shove It off, yank it's tongue out!_

 

Bill brought his hand slowly to It's face and touched the cherry lips. "Your name is Pennywise," he half asked, and the Clown nodded. "Pennywise," It repeated distractedly. Bill pressed the tip of his finger into It's mouth and the Clown all but moaned, It's eyes sliding closed and sighing. Bill pressed in further, transfixed by It's delicate features, and the Clown slammed a hand against the wall taking in Bill's finger. Again he began to throb in his jeans. This was the most wrong, the most fucked up scenario. His mind could barely comprehend what was happening. His finger slid out, then back in, the Clown moaning hard this time. He put two fingers in and pulled them out, the Clown, Pennywise, opening it's eyes to glare at him as if upset that it needed this. Bill moved faster, picking up on what was happening and It's eyes floated closed as little grunts escaped It.

 

"Let my other hand go, I can make it better," Bill told It, a white hot anger bubbling up again. He couldn't believe what he was doing and saying. Pennywise let go, leaving only two hands holding Bill to the wall now, but his own hands were free. 

 

Bill reached up to card his fingers through It's hair as It took in his fingers, almost petting it. Then he withdrew his hands to undo his belt and jeans. The Clown scowled, it's eyes glowing a brighter amber, but Bill revealed what was inside.

 

It was almost funny how It looked from him to his cock, then sank to it's knees and waited. Bill stepped forward, free, no hands on him. He was sore all over. The four armed creature in front of him waiting, mouth dripping, lips parted, hopeful. _God, I hate you_ , Bill thought. _I fucking hate everything about you._

 

He lifted his hand to It's hair again and ran his fingers through it, bringing It to his lap. "Try that," he said kindly as the Clown watched him. It did. It took the whole thing down it's throat and Bill gasped. They moved together until It let Bill buck into it's mouth, starting a rhythm. "You fucking...you fucking piece of-of shit," Bill murmured, fucking quickly into the mouth. Pennywise moaned in pleasure. "Fuck-fuck you," Bill continued, moving them around to back It up against the brick. Pennywise looked up for a moment before Bill rammed himself into It's throat hard, and It loved it, took it. Bill began to cry. Hitting the wall with his fist and then grabbing It's head and fucking it deeply, as hard as he could, as hard as he'd ever fucked anything before. He wanted to hurt It but he could tell that wouldn't be the outcome. It howled suddenly, it's throat contracting and sucking, liquid bursting out from behind it's lips. Bill began a deep pulsing orgasm, holding It's head to his lap, slamming them both against the wall as he dug his hips in as much as possible, riding it out. It was so good, it was so sweet. He kept himself inside Pennywise while he sobbed against the wet bricks, rocking into him slow and weak, trying to chase the feeling.

 

As he finally stepped back, more of the red liquid erupted from It's mouth and spilled down It's shirt. It was blood. The Clown spit out the rest and giggled sleepily, sitting down against the wall. 

 

Bill sank down too, stunned. He couldn't think of what to say or do. Run away? Run back to the others and hunt down the thing he just made-out and had sex with?

 

He felt sick. It laughed quietly, sobering Bill up. "Have you ever eaten anything besides kids?"

 

"Nothing but kids." It answered back like a machine would.

 

Bill got up, moved his belt back in place, and began to walk away. 

 

"Where are you going?" It called. "I'm going to find the others," Bill said. 

 

The Clown showed up at his side, splashing through the water. "To watch me rip them limb from limb," It growled. Bill brushed it off.

 

"B-Billy, no ones ever done that to Pennywise before." The Clown got in front of him and stopped, puffing it's chest like it always had. 

 

"What? What is that to you? Sex?" 

 

It's face seemed to fall into a frown. 

 

"What did we do back there?" 

 

"You made my stomach full." The Clown dragged its nails over it's tunic front.

 

"With what? Fuller than eating a fucking child?" And then he stopped, his mind racing to the worst thing he could think of. What if he'd just taught the Clown a new trick? Except, Billy knew he'd liked it. He'd wanted to get off with It. "How full?" He asked carefully.

 

It stepped forward. "I want more." 

 

"How much more?"

 

"I don't know," It answered, leaning down to attempt a kiss on Bill's neck.

 

Bill shrunk away with a chill, already remembering how good the Clown felt and smelled. He held up a hand between them.  

 

"You hunt and eat our offspring, you've done this for decades. You were going to eat me once."

 

The Clowns face hardened and drew itself up again, the amber eyes beginning to twinkle in the dim light. 

 

"I'm your prey, remember?" Bill said harshly. It stood tense and quiet, It's fingers beginning to tug thoughtlessly at the fabric of It's skirts. 

 

The Clown let out a breath and shoved Bill to the ground with force, his back meeting the edge of the thin walkway and water stream. Gray water spraying up into his face. When he could look around it was quiet and empty. He got up slowly. It was wet and cold. He wondered whether he should even return to his friends. If It came for them he'd defend them. He'd kill It. 

 

Bill walked along the sewer, his heart bursting with shame.


	2. Eating After Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill Denbrough is horrified. And then he isn't. And then he gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read no further without first listening to Carousel by Melanie Martinez: https://tinyurl.com/y8mp5prv
> 
> This fandom has welcomed each other with open, loving arms. Enjoy the show, guys, much <3!

_Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I,_

  
_Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel_

 

_We’re always this close,_

  
_Almost, almost, we’re a freakshow_

 

 

He ran back the way he'd come, back to where he thought he'd lost them. There'd been screams in the distance, then quiet. But he found them. All of them. 

 

Beverly supported a limping Eddie, they were all scuffed up but amazingly alive. 

 

"It got to you too!" Richie ran forward, "You look like hell!"

 

Bill cracked more of a wince than a smile. "I'm glad you're okay." He met eyes with Bev, out of breath but un injured. "What happened?"

 

"That asshole turned Itself into a giant snake, I think It's desperate. Of course something the size of the room is going to intimidate you."

 

" 'Intimidate'? Speak for yourself!" Richie shot back at her. "Bill, It split It's own head open, pink and smelly and-"

 

"And we couldn't get to it." Mike finished. 

 

Bill was afraid to ask, but it left his mouth as fast as his friends information came to his ears. "It's still alive?"

 

"Look at us, It barely touched us! Just puffed up It's chest and gave us a gross-out show, then we lost it."

 

"We need to think of something before It hunts down another child. We need to come back." Bev said. Eddie started to breathe nervously at her side. 

 

"Anyone know what time it is?"

 

"Late," Mike said. "Let's get some rest."

 

They were quiet as they made their way out, and as before, hitting the Derry streets even at night felt refreshing. Bill took comfort in the street lights and little neon beer signs from the bar windows. The summer air was still warm and inviting when it rustled the trees.

 

He hadn't brought a lot with him to Derry and his motel room was quite bare, but it was clean. Clean cold sheets, clean carpet under his toes. His mind was a blank slate in the shower, to content with the spray and the soap to care about much more. His mind wandered as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

The room was quiet, sure, it was pleasant, nothing like the dead quiet of the sewer. That quiet meant you were too far underground. It was a thick quiet. A lonesome quiet. It was wet there, and dirty, and it stank. Death was down there.

 

Bill turned to lay on his back, resting his arm above his head. He stretched it out, felt down the side of the bed, let the hand fall back on the pillow next to him. He listened to himself breathe. His fingers twitching in the air. 

 

He let his other hand rest against the pillow and pulled himself into a torso stretch, stimulating the muscles in his back and shoulders. He bent one leg at the knee. The bed was so comfortable, _so clean,_ he thought again, running a hand through his hair, then down his face and stopped there. He was loosely covering his eyes, his mouth widened just a little. Another breath. He opens his mouth wider and his stomach drops, feeling blood running to his groin. The Clown would make this place so dirty. He imagined new stains on the bed, grime on the floor and up the walls, the room would be wet, it would sag. His fingers moved over his lips soft like piano keys, letting the last one, his index finger, fall inside against his tongue and he moaned out loud. 

 

_It sleeps in a pile of dead children's trash._

 

Bills eyes jerked open. He went to the mini fridge on the counter top and shot gunned a whole beer.

 

Morning came with a flurry of group texts but at Ben's behest they all met for breakfast. No one had heard a thing since last night, no children missing.

 

Derry had changed in the decades since they were kids, like the cafe where they sat. Busy and cool with a menu that thankfully adhered to their more sensible adult appetites. Mike and Beverly had salmon benedicts while he and Ben had a farmers hash with bacon. Eddie and Richie had huge banana hemp pancakes because Richie was vegetarian and Eddie was vegan. Bill had to grin when he'd found out, it hadn't surprised him at all. Stan was content with toast and eggs and more coffee then the rest of them had combined. 

 

Ben was still scanning the local news for violent crimes when Beverly spoke up. "Did everyone sleep well? No...bad dreams?"

 

Mike set his cup of coffee down with a questioning look but everyone else said they were fine. She seemed to contemplate and look down at her food. 

 

"What about you?" Bill asked.

 

Beverly tilted her head to the side, thinking. "Well...It was in my dream last night. It was um, sexual." She explained as nonchalant as possible.

 

"It was what?" Ben questioned, clearly taken off guard. 

 

Bill felt like he was cemented to his chair.

 

"I don't know what it was, if it was some crazy dream or if it, or if It was really in there-"

 

"Are you okay?" Ben broke in. 

 

Bill's breathing began to quicken.

 

"I'm fine, it wasn't what you think, I promise. Nothing happened," she laughed. "I'm embarrassed, I shouldn't have even brought it up."

 

Bill's appetite had gone and he was only left clutching his fork like a brooding cave man staring at Beverly. His insides thickening to ice.

 

"No it...happened to me too."

 

Everyone at the table turned to Mike. 

 

"Did It touch you too?" Richie asked next to him.

 

Mike frowned. "It's pretty much like Bev said." He sat back in his chair.

 

Richie looked from Mike to Beverly and pointed to the two of them. "Did you guys have sex with the Clown?"

 

Both of them scowled and Mike looked personally offended but Beverly blushed. 

 

"I, I gotta go you guys. Sorry," Bill stood up from the table dragging the chair loudly across the floor. "I didn't sleep a wink last night, do you mind if I go back to my room?"

 

They all graciously let him slip away, Eddie picking up his tab and Ben promising to text or call or bust the door down himself if they got any leads.

 

That had been a lie. He'd slept great after the beer last night, so he had other plans.

 

"Sorry guys," he muttered as he watched his phone lose service the farther into the tunnel he went. He'd gone to the house on Neibolt Street, walked around the dining room, the kitchen. He'd gone upstairs, touched the curtains in the bedroom, half daring something to happen. Then he went down the well. 

 

It was going after his friends now. No kids had gone missing which wasn't that surprising in the time they'd spent there, but the Clown sure had been busy last night. Bill gritted his teeth. How could Beverly _fill it up_ anyway? Wasn't that the point It had kept driving home the day before? _Why Mike?_ Because he was big and unoffending? 

 

Bill swung himself over to the hole in the wall, much smaller than he remembered it he thought. His heart pounded as moldy air hit his nostrils. 

 

Through the water pump room, down the stairs, through the door. He touched the filthy walls, walking straight into hell.

 

He got to one of the wider chambers, not the main one where he knew it slept. He couldn't be in there, he wouldn't go.

 

Bill sat on a wide concrete basin. It occurred to him then that he could die at any moment. What in the world would stop the Clown from just ripping him to shreds right then and there. Bill shivered. And was there color in those shadows before? Or a face? Bill swallowed hard. The Clown was staring right at him from a dark spot across the room wearing a scowl and dead shining eyes.

 

He cleared his throat. "I wanted to talk to you," he said less than confidentially. It didn't react. Bill got to his feet, grabbing at the material on his other arm sleeve and walking forward. 

 

"Have you hunted?" Nothing. "S-some of my friends said that they saw you..." Bill stopped, tugging at the fabric of his sweater, then walked forward again, pulling the sweater off and throwing it on the floor against the wall. 

 

The Clown wore a deep unmoving grimace, only it's eyes following Bill as he moved. "Where's my boat," he asked quietly, reaching for it's face. 

 

It struck Bill so hard in the head he landed on the ground, the Clown walking forward after him, getting low into a crouch before Bill kicked it backwards, scrambled to his feet and shot himself forward to cannonball himself into it's stomach. He drove them up against a platform of chains and rotted machinery, the edge of it most certainly meeting the Clowns lower back. It only looked back at Bill to laugh in his face. "Angry, Billy?" It screamed, beginning to stand up straight. Blood washed through his head. He gathered a fist full of It's ruffles and punched It hard on the cheek, one after the other, It's childlike face wincing at the blows until there was blood in It's mouth and Bill stopped.

 

The Clowns chest heaved and Bill flipped it easily so it leaned against the platform. He wasn't at all sure what he was doing, his hands moving up inside the Clowns skirts. For all he knew baby snakes would come pouring out like the giant one It had turned into to attack the others last night. Maybe there was nothing under there at all. The trousers were tight but Bill yanked them down enough to reveal a basic human anatomy, a mans anatomy, at least from the backside. 

 

Bill breathed heavily, looking at the strong upper thighs parted just so with the trousers bunched close around them. His other hand kept the skirt pushed up. It was a lot of information to take in, he squeezed his eyes shut and looked away just as he felt movement from the Clown. It lowered Itself against the platform and parted It's thighs as much as It's tight trousers let it. Bill let out a shaky breath and ran his hand up the inside of It's thigh, then just a finger up between it's cheeks. More correct human anatomy. He brought the finger up directly to It's mouth, gently covering It's face with his hand until he felt the Clowns mouth open. Three fingers went in at once and the Clown arched and choked. 

 

Bill pushed himself up against the Clown holding onto a fist full of It's skirt while he drove his fingers down into it and back out, teasing with the pressure and rhythm. Three fingers felt raw, the Clown choking and gasping this time. It made Bill bury his face in it's ruffles and push deeper until he just held them there as far down It's mouth as he could manage until It gagged. When he released his fingers saliva dripped down onto the metal below and he brought his hand to the Clowns opening, pressing one finger easily inside, then alternated all three until he had at least two gliding easily in and out. It pressed it's face to the metal, saliva dripping through the grate now as it panted.

 

Bill ripped the trousers down the middle and turned the Clown back around, crowding in close enough for their noses to touch while he ripped the front in half too. "D'you wanna be full?" He asked, spreading a leg to the side. Up close It still seemed to tower over him even if they were the same height now, especially with the clothing, but It watched Bill move it's limbs with curious, lidded eyes. Bill began to finger It from the front, watching It try to keep it's features from contorting in pleasure. It's eyes fell shut and he kissed It, capturing It's wet lips messily before pressing himself in between it's thighs. 

 

The platform shook with them as Bill snapped his hips forward, sinking deeper into the wet hole. He stepped closer and hoisted the Clown up against the platform and kept one leg held around his hips, fucking into Pennywise smoother now. He held the Clowns jawline up and pressed his thumb into It's mouth. "Pennywise," he shuddered out against It's face and the Clown laughed, mouth stuffed with his thumb, raising it's arms up to hold onto the railing and chains. 

 

He couldn't stand it, slamming into the Clown with abandon, chains rattling every time. His hands left It's face to wrap around it's other thigh and jerk It toward him as he fucked, both panting and licking into each other as the machinery creaked behind them. Bill spit into It's mouth and the Clowns eyes fluttered open and they kissed wet and open mouthed until Bill realized he was coming, sloppy and deep inside Pennywise. Waves of his orgasm pulsing, leaving him to bury his face once again in the ruffles on It's chest. 

 

There was something very wrong with cuddling into the folds and the heat coming from the Clown. He reached up to hook an arm around It's shoulder, hugging It close. 

 

Guilt thudded in his heart as he leaned back, guilt and panic. The kind that shook your ribs and threatened to leave your body entirely.

 

It let go of the chains, it's voice like gravel. "You promised to fill me up, I'm. Hungry," It said, looking down at Bill.

 

He untangled himself from Pennywise and stepped back, the disheveled Clown letting go of the railing and sliding off the platform, it's pants ripped, skirts wrinkled, and it's hair out of place.

 

Bill tripped over his own loose jeans and fell to the ground staring up at it. His heart beat faster in his chest and the Clown grinned, stepping forward.

 

As It knelt beside him Bill shot it a defiant look, ready for an attack.

 

He was trying to get up on his feet, trying to figure out what to say, how to stall It, how to explain what happened as Pennywise closed in on him, taking his face in it's gloved hands.

 

"I'm hungry, Billy," It whispered before kissing him deeply. A real kiss, slow and soft. Bill melted back down into the floor. 

 


	3. Butterfly Kisses

The mouth moved painfully slow, sending electric shocks through Bill's nerve system. Sluggish, intrusive, hungry. Bill moved to hold it's painted cheek as they separated, it's features soft now. "It didn't work like I thought it would, we'll try again."

 

"I'm hungry," It repeated, a ghost of a whisper. "Okay, give me a moment and then I'll feed you right this time."

 

The Clown nodded it's head quickly, a little bell rattling somewhere on it's clothes, and leaned in to nuzzle Bill's neck. It made him wonder why It had acted so violently before if it was so gentle now. He shut his eyes, feeling the Clown run it's hands down his side, crawling over top of him like a lover. 

 

His eyes opened to look at it, really look as much as he could in the pale gray blue light of the room. It's rose bud lips, plump cheeks, fiery red hair, the little nose, amber eyes that still nailed him to the floor. 

 

He pulled It in possessively, into a passionate kiss, cradling It's face in his hands. "You're so...cute," Bill said, running hands through it's hair and pulling it in again to let their tongues play. "You're so fucking h-ot," he stammered as the Clown pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and leaned back to sit on his groin. Bill's hands went to it's legs, clad still in powder gray trousers. Just at the hemline of It's skirts Bill could see bare flesh where he'd ripped them in half earlier. He shuddered a breath as It straddled him, his hands running higher up It's thighs, pushing the skirts up to palm it's hip bones. He held the Clown tight on his lap and ground up against it, hearing Pennywise inhale deeply.

 

Curiously, Bill kept his hand on It's hip and with the other lifted the rest of the skirts up, not really having seen or felt much of anything there before. And everything sort of stopped. He didn't really know what he was looking at. This was the baby snakes trick he feared. This was the little worry in the back of his mind that Pennywise would bite through his fingers every time he pushed them past It's supple lips.

 

It was smooth and hairless with a crevice running down a mound. It actually looked more like a woman's vulva, just larger, and buried inside he unmistakably saw a row of sharp, gnarled teeth. The vulva seemed to contract as he stared at it. Bill gasped and bumped the Clown off of him as he crawled backward away from it. 

 

It sat on the cold ground now, skirts hiked up around It's waist, expressionless, though with It's painted face it always looked furious and mean. It seemed to be reacting to Bill's negative mood because it glanced down at it's body and smirked, moving now to mimic Bill's position on the floor.

 

The Clown leaned back, legs open, and pulled back It's garments to reveal the strange organ again. Bill watched silently as It dropped it's hand down to touch it delicately with it's fingers, coaxing the lips open to reveal the teeth. It was like a mouth. The Clown had a second mouth between it's legs. For the hundredth time since he'd come back to the sewer Bill felt sick with confusion and regret. ' _Come on'_ , he mouthed wordlessly. It ran a single finger along the inside of the lip and he watched the Clown twitch and gasp prettily. The finger ran it's way back up the slit and suddenly out of the folds of teeth, a small red tongue pushed itself out. Drool, or maybe something else, gathered at the base of the slit and began to trickle down to the floor.

 

Out of all the forms It could have chosen, It picked a human clown with youthful features and a nightmare mouth. Where was Richie now? What would he say?

 

Bill's mind stopped as he watched the display. The second tongue snaking out from between It's legs, gaining thickness as it traveled out. Pennywise gripped the base of the 13 inch length and shuddered, drooling. "C'mere, Bill."

 

Bill broke a fresh sweat. _Bill._ It never called him _Bill._ As if in a trance he made his way over to the Clown, strange anticipation turning his insides. He wouldn't say he was afraid, but it was similar, and he was starting to feel addicted to it. He felt dirty and disgusted and angry, like the air was as thick as water and nothing else mattered but the two of them. His whole life had been spent obsessing over It anyway. Now they were together again.

 

Pennywise leaned back on one hand and tilted It's head, the other still gripping the base of it's sex. "Come on, Bill," It encouraged sweetly. 

 

He wasn't sure of what to do, but leaned down just enough to touch his tongue to the thick one in front of him. It jerked backward as if it were alive. The Clown drooled above him, watching with harsh eyes. Bill made a broken noise and leaned in to take the tip into his mouth, flicking the end with his and pretending it was a kiss. It made him hot and he blushed, lapping and sucking at it, wondering if It was still watching him. He tried to take more of it in but he was suddenly pushed backwards onto his back. His new erection pulsed between his thighs but he felt a fresh sort of shame wash over him unlike the kind he'd felt the day before. Right now he felt feverish and numb.

 

His pants were ripped roughly in half by the shaky gloved hands above him to match how he'd ripped It's own, his legs fell open and were bent wide by the glassy eyed Clown. Bill scrambled to push them back into a less painful position and Pennywise let up, just a little, before taking in all of Bill's cock to the hilt.

 

Bill cried out, laying back against the dirt. His body was sore from yesterday, his head still tender from when the Clown first pressed him against the sewer walls. His back hurt, he had bruises on his face from rough, inquisitory fingers. Now his legs were being forced open in a deadlock and his mouth opened in a silent scream because the Clown had him so far down it's throat it's lips pressed flatly to the skin at the base.

 

Something in It's throat began to move, began to contract and squeeze. Bill was in such a state of shock that he realized too late that the panicked breathing deafening his ears was coming from himself. His eyes went wide seeing the Clowns mouth fastened flat and wide between his thighs, his cock somewhere deep inside it's throat receiving the most explosive blow job of his life. 

 

Bill was gasping, wreathing on the floor of the chamber, knowing he had no way to escape and knowing he'd never try to. The Clown growled against him and shook it's head like an animal, trying to get more of Bill in it's throat but there was nothing left. Bill screamed and wailed, the throat undulating and sucking perfectly. Bill choked back, finding his voice again, realizing he could speak. "Oh god, _oh god_ ," his nails dug deep into the dirt above him, repeating the words mindlessly. "Oh my god, oh my g- _od!_ "

 

Come splashed down It's throat, Bill screaming as his legs were held down in place and he had no other relief than to continue to empty himself into the Clowns esophagus and pound his knuckles and nails into the ground.

 

He didn't really pass out. He didn't really remember anything but lying still after he came either. The memory of it sending a tremor down his body. Bill had never shut his eyes, yet he felt as if he'd come to from a dream. His cheeks were warm and wet from tears, the muscles of his inner thighs swollen and sore. 

 

Bill sat up, noticing the cold stale air hitting him for the first time since he'd come down the rope. He stumbled out of his torn jeans and briefs and retrieved his sweater from the floor in the corner. 41 years old, a mile or so underground, sobbing and pantsless and fucked out. It was the perfect time for a mid life crisis. He rubbed his brow and laughed quietly, wiping his face with his pants. 

 

Halfway up the rope to the Neibolt house, cellular service reached his phone and a flurry of buzzes rang out from the pants pocket tucked against his waistline. He checked them once he was out, a single red balloon hovering close by in the floor boards. The gang would be heading to the sewer that night, hoping nightfall would remedy a more successful result.

 

Bill sighed and took the balloon upstairs where he discovered Pennywise following him down the hall. Bill stopped and turned to It. "You shouldn't have," he said, motioning to the floating latex orb.

 

He found old worn pants, ill fitted and threadbare, and he sat down on the couch and asked It to join him. The Clown kneeled on the cushions first, then sank down close to him. A hand gripping the back of the couch, trying to intimidate as much as ever. Bill laughed dryly, moving his legs up to buffer them and sit in the Clowns direction. "You're strong enough to come up here now."

 

The Clown moved it's hand over it's stomach again. "Now I can."

 

"Because I fed you."

 

Pennywise shuffled and tensed in front of him. "Can Pennywise have more?"

 

"N-no, not yet." Bill held out his hands to It's chest to settle it. "I have to rest."

 

"But you'll come back?"

 

Bill didn't answer right away out of self preservation. Out of sanity. "Yes," he said. "Are you not hungry for anything else?"

 

It jerked It's head sideways.

 

"Like, for kids. Or fear?"

 

"I like the way you fear me," It answered, drool bubbling up and erupting down it's face.

 

Bill smirked sheepishly. "What about the way I feed you? Is it better?"

 

"It's better, better. I feel strong, Bill. I feel tight when you feed me."

 

Bill marveled at the Clown for a moment. Would they even be able to kill it if they tried? It deserved to die after everything that it had done but was it even possible? Bill didn't really care anymore. He knew it was the right thing to do but he just didn't care. His legs parted and he reached for Pennywise, who crawled carefully over him and kissed him lazily against the pillows of the musty decrepit house on Neibolt Street. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've quickly realized that if you sleep with a shape shifting alien presence that anything goes and all bets are off. @_@


	4. Chrysalis and Snacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all so amazing. I wouldn't be finishing this story if you hadn't encouraged me. You're wonderful.
> 
> If you would, give Reactor by Fractures a listen before continuing the tale ~  
> https://tinyurl.com/y8g9xyol

_Caught in the traction_

_Caught in the physical_

 

_Couldn’t resist it_

_Couldn’t resist the touch_

_Those fingers round my throat_

_Maybe I wished it, maybe I willed it on_

 

"How long will you rest?" It asked, sliding it's long slick lips over Bill's clavicle and Adam's apple.

 

Bill shivered. "I'll be awake again before nightfall," he told it, knowing it was nearly two in the afternoon before he'd made it up the well to the house. 

 

Pennywise was different in the sunlight. It's hair was an artificial golden orange, it's smile was playful and strange. Bill couldn't keep his fingers away from it's face, tracing the lines engraved down it's cheek.

 

"Tonight? That isn't long at all."

 

"We're different than you," Bill shrugged.

 

Pennywise sneered at the body below him. "Yes, in lots of ways."

 

Bill knotted his brow at the rudeness and tried to get up to leave but Pennywise only tensed on top of him.

 

"I'm going to go and rest now," he explained, early fatigue hitting him now that he'd been reclining against the pillows, but the Clown only stared down at him with increasing breaths.

 

"What's t-the matter with you? We agreed I would come back."

 

Pennywise frowned deeper and hiked Bills leg up abruptly so that he was in a more horizontal position on the couch below It. "You can rest here, Bill."

 

He stared up at the Clown. "I can...I'll have to leave here for food soon though. After I wake up."

 

Pennywise rewarded him with a measured look and settled Itself over his body, still nestled between Bills sore legs and arms. It let Bill bump and jostle them to get more comfortable before lowering it's head to rest against his chest.

 

He'd really rather be in the rental right now tearing down the road to town. He'd rather spend the extra 15 minutes it took back to the motel feeling normal and alive and breathing summer air. He wanted to jump off the couch and run for his life. He stayed put, a tuft of obscene red hair threatening to tickle his nose. He could see It's torso rise and fall as it rested and he moved his arms up to wrap them around the Clown.

 

What would he do about tonight? They had dropped everything to come miles and miles back to Derry to kill It. They had jobs and partners who didn't understand why they'd all come to do this. Ben thought that if they could get to It's heart, if it had one, they could destroy it. _'The heart or the brain'_ Beverly had said. It was Richie's idea to chop the rest of It to pieces. His finger twitched against the Clown and It rubbed it's face in his sweater before relaxing on him again, nose first against his chest.

 

He really did need to sleep if he was going to be up all night, but up all night doing what? Murdering the thing cuddling with him? The thing that won't let me up to leave?

 

Bill moved his hand to the Clowns cheek and urged it up so that it was looking at him. "What do you want with me?"

 

"I want to feed from you, your fear and your s... _ex_ ," It answered, elongating the new word and turning it's obscene mouth toward Bill's fingers. Bill kept his hand firm on it's cheek and made it pay attention. "How long will you feed from me?"

 

"Forever," It answered. 

 

A burning blush hit Bill and spread through his cheeks. "You want that? You want...just me?"

 

Pennywise grind and leaned into Bill's palm this time, never taking it’s yellow eyes from Bill. "You're generous."

 

Bill would have laughed if it weren't so inappropriate. "Pennywise, even if I stayed with you here, I'll die in another 30 years. Even if I don't I doubt I would be able t-to feed you again, I'll be very old the next time you wake up to feed."

 

The Clown whipped it's head out of his hold to purse it's lips and crawl up his frame, meeting him eye to eye. A guttural growl beginning in It's throat. Bill moaned and let his head fall back against the arm of the sofa. "Would you find someone else? Someone like me?" Bill asked. Heat behind his voice. 

 

Pennywise continued to gnash It's raiser teeth, a string of drool leaving it's mouth to drip and pool at the base of Bill's neck and escape down the side. White gloved fingers took hold of Bill's face and he was brought nose to nose with the Clown, still growling, pressing their foreheads hard together. Bill only moaned again, feeling like molding dough under It's weight. "There is no one like you," it managed to answer through gritted teeth. 

 

It sniffed at the air around Bill's face and started panting. Bill gave in. "Hunt for someone that has my fear and looks at you the way I do."

 

The words reeled the Clown back in and It clung to Bill, all but smothering him. "Find someone who lets you talk with them and let's you touch them."

 

Some of It's teeth retracted and It moved a hand over the spit that gathered on Bill's throat and continued to grope down his stomach and over the middle of the old baggy pants, rubbing It's flat palm against the bulge there.

 

Bill was a little exhausted after what they'd done in the sewer but his body didn't know any better and he spread himself wider for the groping hand. "Get me hard for your mouth," he breathed out, one arm slung over the edge of the couch. He ate his words as soon as Pennywise ripped open the front of the make shift pants he'd found earlier and laughed softly when the long fingers pulled him out and squeezed, handling the firm weight in It's hand.

 

He was able to push them up into a sitting position where Bill could guide Pennywise off of him and against the couch, "Show me your mouth," he said as he straddled It's lap. The Clown opened It's mouth and Bill fit both of his thumbs inside, holding it open wider and spitting in it. He couldn't help but lean in and lick at the tongue sitting prettily inside and then plunge in his own a few times, thick and straight to mimic what he figured Pennywise liked the most before letting go and getting up. The Clown gazed at him with a hungry, wet face and he helped It down onto the floor against the couch so he could kneel by it's shoulder. "I really think this is the last time I can do this today, alright?"

 

Pennywise was already pulling Bill by the hips and he half stumbled onto the couch around It's head, his cock sinking quickly into the warmth of It's throat. He let out a strangled gasp and closed his eyes, finding balance on the cushions. A sultry rhythm began with his hand in It's hair but he winced with the uncomfortable friction even as the mouth felt hot and velvety inside. He was sore from overuse and the violent blow job downstairs hadn't done him any favors. 

 

He braced himself on the head of the sofa and leaned the Clowns head back, bending it impossibly backward but It didn't seem to mind. He grunted with every sharp intake of breath, jolting It's head into the cushion with measured thrusts. Every flare of pain riding on a wave of pleasure. He straddled It's head and rutted into it fast and hard, embracing the pain even as it worsened. A familiar contraction squeezed at Bill from inside the throat and Pennywise coughed as fresh blood erupted. His grip was tight in the Clowns hair while he slammed fully inside two, four, eight times before releasing into the already sopping insides, his throbbing member rattling everything inside him including his rabbit fast heart. His grunts devolved into hysterical laughter, collapsing over the sofas edge. 

 

He moved when he heard a gurgly hum satisfactorily below him, looking up into Bill's eyes with It's lips widened tight around his cock. Bill removed himself carefully, embarrassed by how eager he'd been. The ripped pants threatened to slip off his hips as he stood in front of the Clown and pulled them up. Then he noticed something strange on the Clowns face even as it coughed and bled from it's mouth. He reached out to touch the wetness on It's cheeks. "You're crying."

 

Pennywise slid fully onto the floor with it's arms around it's stomach, a tremor in It's blood covered lips. Bill got to the floor and continued to touch at It's face. "Did I...hurt you? I didn't think that-"

 

The Clown shook it's head, wiping it's mouth into a big pink smear across it's lips and cheek. It looked up and down at Itself and Bill. "It feels so good inside," It said, holding Itself as if it didn't know what else to do. The Clown squeezed Itself tight around it's torso, licking It's lips. 

 

Bill wasn't sure of what to do or say. His other hand moved hesitantly to the Clowns abdomen below the crossed arms and thumbed thoughtfully at the tattered fabric. Pennywise began what looked like a convulsion, quick, hoarse grunts rising and trilling in the air, turning into a sort of laughter before it threw Itself at Bill, It's arms falling around his neck, embracing him. Bill had time to take in the bizarre gesture, laying his arm over the back of the Clowns neck before he was jerked closer at an uncomfortable angle. It hurt, but something about it was numbing to Bill. Numb was a good way of explaining away the last two days. "When I come back tonight the others are coming with me."

 

Pennywise fell silent, holding it's breath. Bill stared forward. "I'm going to pretend to attack you but it won't be real...you have to pretend to die." 

 

Bill waited for a response. For the Clown to start breathing again, anything. It only sat silent and motionless against him like a doll. "If they think you're dead they won't come back. They'll never come and bother you again." 

 

If Bill had been younger he would have trembled in tears hearing the words coming from his lips. He would have thrown up from shock and disgust. Now he was numb.

 

Pennywise leaned him back, warm sticky blood peeling away between the ruffles and Bills ruined sweater. "I think you broke me a long time ago," he concluded.

 

* * *

 

The shower didn't seem as inviting anymore. Instead, Bill collapsed on the motel bed in the bloody sweater and torn stolen jeans. He didn't know who they'd belonged to but he assumed it was a squatter drug addict. They stank. There was dirt in his hair and he was more sore now than when he'd left that morning, the inside of his thigh muscles were inflamed from the stretching.

 

He was filthy, and he fell asleep curled on top of the cold blanket with a smile on his face. 


	5. The Reluctant Hunt of A Soft Butterfly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very embarrassed this update took nearly a month, but here's why! I run a podcast about attraction to villains from film and television (The SuperHot BadGuy Podcast) so it was obvious we had to do a Pennywise episode! 
> 
> I'm shamelessly promoting my show but, it is over an hour of me talking NSFW about Pennywise and the fandom, and I mention Learning To Kiss Angry Butterflies! I may sound hesitant to gush like a true Clown!Fucker, but non fandom listeners of all ages listen in, including MY MOTHER, so I was more shy about the whole thing than normal. Anyhow, listen to us if you'd like! https://tinyurl.com/ybn7t7ag
> 
> On with Bill's show...

"Bill! Bill, please say that you're alright!"

 

Despite the shabby motel atmosphere, the doors were old thick oak. The kind that hurt your knuckles when you knocked. No matter how hard Ben pounded against the wood, it still sounded like polite raps at Bill's door.

 

It was Beverly's pleading that startled him awake in the dark, then the rapid knocks shot through his ears like gun shots, pulling an invisible string to his heart like a generator and he was jumping out of bed toward the door. "I'm fine!" he shouted through the wood as he handled the lock. It was a lie. His stomach hurt and he was disoriented to say the least. Just as he was about to open the door for his friends he remembered what he must look like. "Just a minute...I'm putting some clothes on!"

 

He could hear laughing from outside and he smiled too as he removed the bloody sweater and torn pants, tossing them under the far side of the bed and pulling clean boxers up around his hips.

 

The door opened with the chain still secure so he could at least see them and talk without yelling. "Did I over sleep? I'm sorry. This whole thing just...it got to me I guess..."

 

"You look like shit, Bill!" Richie shouted from the back of the group. 

 

Bill laughed. "You weren't answering your phone," Beverly pointed out. 

 

"I-I'm sorry, guys."

 

She moved past Ben and peered in at Bill through the crack in the door. "Were you okay in there? You look really out of it."

 

Bill squinched his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "What time is it?"

 

"Past 9:30..."

 

"I need to take a shower, sorry for making you guys wait. Has anything happened?"

 

Bev was quiet for a moment. "No."

 

"Good. I'll be out soon."

 

Closing the door brought him into the dark again. A strange sadness rolling over him. He could hear their muffed voices on the other side and thought again about what he was doing. What he was missing.

 

The shower was exquisite. Hot, soapy. They pilled into Stan’s family van this time in case anyone was seriously injured and needed to make it safely to Derry Hospital. Stanley and Ben up front, Eddie, Richie, and Mike in the back. Beverly climbed in after Bill and attempted to haul the side door closed when Stan chided her and closed it automatically from a button on his key ring. Richie made an ‘ _oh_ ’ face at Eddie, leaning back to swing an arm over the side by the smaller mans shoulder as Eddie sarcastically clicked a fake matching key ring in the air. Richie's hand came back up to pull Eddie closer after that and they settled down, all of which didn’t go unnoticed by the other three backseat passengers. Mike and Bill exchanged surprised but approving eye contact while Beverly giggled quietly.

 

They stopped once for Bill’s embarrassing dinner of dry gas station chicken strips, apple chips and a hideous off brand energy drink, then they were back on the dark road to the edge of town. 

 

He dove into his gummy chicken, ripping at the over heated meat like a jerky stick when he noticed Bev watching from beside him. “You’ve really changed, you know that?”

 

Bill shrugged. “All of us have.”

 

She kept her gaze steady. “No I don’t mean it like that. I mean, you were always our leader. I don’t know what I expected when I saw you again.”

 

He lowered his drink. “I’m a writer, Beverly. But...I know what you mean. When I got here, I don’t know. I guess I kind of thought this was all over years ago and when we came back, and when I saw all of you, I thought I’d feel something again. I thought it would be like it was.”

 

“Mike and Ben were the only ones keeping one eye on Derry for us.”

 

“Well, we’re all here now.”

 

Her features lifted in the shadows of the van, Ben and Stan talking quietly in front, the three men in back laughing at a joke Bill hadn’t caught.

 

Sound was sucked out of the air. Silently, a house sized object dropped directly in their path. The ground bowed and rattled as it made contact, violently shaking the van with the group inside of it swaying like dolls. Stan had no time at all to clear it as they watched a powder white face open up into a blinding light as they drove inside, everyone shouting at once. “Was that what I think it was?!”

 

“Jesus, Beverly! Are these the lights?”

 

“Stan, stop driving! It’s a hallucination! These aren’t the real lights!”

 

“We’re going to crash!”

 

Bill’s eyes went wide, honestly expecting to die at any moment as Stanley slammed hard on his breaks, the van skidding forward even as it stopped, but they continued to be surrounded by white light. They were silent for a moment, then a pulsing started, deep and loud. Beverly angrily tore open the side door. “This isn’t real!” She shouted, stepping out. 

 

Mike reached out to pull her back. “Stop, we don’t know where we really are!” He caught her shoulder as she began to topple sideways into the mute white and she spun back to grab his other hand. Her foot slipped a bit more as she climbed back inside the van and it sounded just the same as gravel and dirt. 

 

“W-we’re still on the road,” Bill burst out. Beverly knotted her brow and leaned down to gather gravel in her hand. The white nothingness shorted out around them like a dying lightbulb and they were left in the dark on the road side near a steep embankment overlooking the Barrens.

 

“Enough with the sideshows, lets get going,” Mike said moodily. The house on Neibolt Street was just around the corner, no one spoke until they got there.

 

A light summer fog had rolled into Derry that night making the air just a little bit colder. It fit itself around the Neibolt house like a glove as they approached the unlocked door.

 

“We’re stronger as a group,” Ben reminded them. 

 

It didn’t make it easy. The foyer that led to the basement under the staircase grew a mile long as they entered but Mike crashed through the illusion pretty easily. When Eddie tried the basements door it opened to the ceiling of the kitchen, prompting him to jump back at the bad memory of falling through to the floor. 

 

Bill sat on the edge but there was nothing there, no physicality of stairs leading down where they should be. It looked just like the broken kitchen below where they’d attacked It as kids. Phantom pressure ghosted on his knee and calf muscle, then he was jerked downward into what looked like 10 feet of open air to the kitchen floor below. Before he hit the ground he was suddenly in the arms of Pennywise who tossed him backward into the nearest broken wall. 

 

Bill scrambled to his feet, locking eyes with It. “Hey, maybe the basement’s where the kitchen should be!” He called up to them sarcastically. Yet maybe it was true.

 

Ben and Richie were already running that direction while Mike swung a leg over the edge above Bill. “Don’t move, shit head!”

 

“Mike, it’s too high!,” Bill called up as Pennywise started a low giggle.

 

A busy hum began and suddenly the air filled with flies around Mike, hundreds more seeming to ooze out from the shadows to gather on and around him. “Mike!” Beverly yelled as she pulled him up and out of Bill’s view. 

 

“Stop it!” Bill demanded. Beverly screamed this time, somewhere above them in the other room.

 

The buzzing went out like a light, plunging the house into momentary silence. Pennywise lurched sideways and froze, daring Bill to run off. He looked back at it strangely, then glanced above to see Stan watching them. “Why hasn’t Ben found the kitchen yet?” He asked blankly, looking down. Bill looked back at Pennywise, frozen in place, and then bolted for the hallway, setting the Clown in motion after him, yipping and laughing through the dark corridor and around the corner to a dining room. 

 

He stopped at the dust caked table with Pennywise on the opposite side, both moving around it like magnets in different directions. Bill didn’t have time to think about what he was doing, if this was real or not. Why he was scared? Why was he angry? They both jerked in opposite directions around the table before the Clown simply lifted the heavy furniture up and out of the way. Bill couldn’t fit past the table and the wall so he jumped on top of it but Pennywise just dragged him off by a leg like an ornery cat, Bill sliding sideways taking the moldy table cloth with him. 

 

A large hand fit itself around his neck as he was pushed lazily against old brocade curtains, squeezing him under the jaw, just fingers and thumb. Bill went limp with the touch. The other hand joined to grip lower near his clavicle. 

 

They smiled oddly at one another while the others were heard running around the house all around them, everywhere but there. _Addiction._ Bill took a handful of tattered ruffles and coaxed the Clown closer to him, pulling with some force since Pennywise wasn’t making it easy. “Don’t run away from me,” It whispered. 

 

“Don’t hurt my friends,” Bill whispered back. 

 

Pennywise tightened the iron grip on Bills neck and he could feel his body heat and ache. “Haven’t,” It replied. 

 

Footsteps thundered down the hall to reach them seconds later. It was Ben with Richie and Eddie now, Richie pushing past the others to hold a silver pistol up and cock it. “Holy shit,” Bill exclaimed, his head buzzing with dizziness.

 

“Let him go,” Eddie demanded from the back as Richie took a shot and missed. He immediately shut an eye and held the gun with more precision and balanced with both hands as if at a shooting range, hitting Pennywise straight through the head this time. Hands left Bills throat and the Clown fell straight back onto the wood floor in a cloud of dust.

 

Ben told Eddie to go get the others, they had to do this right. As Ed jogged off through the house they were left as relatively quiet as it had been before they’d barreled in, all eyes now on the motionless Thing on the floor boards.

 

Richie felt compelled to whisper; “Didn’t Bev ram a rod through it’s skull before and it was fine?”

 

“Maybe you hit the right spot,” Ben offered.

 

They were quiet a moment longer, the correct amount of air returning to Bills lungs. His head tilted as he gazed at Pennywise, It’s large goofy, ~~ _sexy?_~~ pompomed shoes spread in opposite directions. Even the small detail of It’s gloved finger pad, dirty from being swiped against the dusty floor. 

 

Richie began to recite Merchants of Venice, or maybe it was Willy Wonka, as the others arrived. “Where, oh where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head?”

 

Beverly came up from behind Richie to see the Clown. “Why would it be in the head?”

 

“Maybe it’s in the stomach,” Eddie added.

 

Mike nodded over to Bill. “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah.” Bill took his hand away from his tender neck.

 

Mike motioned to the Clown with a machete. “Is it safe?” 

 

Bill zeroed in on the weapon. “Where did you get that?”

 

Mike shrugged. “My families farm.”

 

They all looked at Bill expectedly so he pushed himself off the window pane and approached It. Something was off. He kicked it’s boot lightly with his own and it didn’t move right. Bill leaned over it to see closer. 

 

“Careful,” Stanley murmured from the back of the group. Mike began to walk forward.

 

As he approached the body Bill reached out to touch It’s cheek. “Bill!”

 

“It’s wood,” Bill said dumbly, running his thumb over the solid lip.

 

Mike kicked it in the side and it rattled like a ventriloquists dummy. The others began to break up into whispers as Mike raised the weapon. “Back up, Bill.”

 

He did and Mike brought the machete down across the neck, hacking at the wood until the head rolled to the side. 

 

“Heads up!” He shouted, tossing it to Richie who caught it and wiggled it by the hair toward Eddie. Ed shoved it away but Bill offered to carry it, taking the head in his hands and holding it like a pumpkin. They waited for a moment, wondering to themselves if It was through with them for now. 

 

“Lets try the basement again,” Beverly asserted, heading for the hall. The basement door, however, opened to the hole in the ceiling of the kitchen again. She stomped her foot in annoyance. “Bill, Ben, can you go back to the kitchen? I’m jumping down into this one. Let’s see if we meet up.”

 

“I already ran out of that one and into the main hall before.” Bill told her. 

 

She looked back down into the impossible location below. “Let’s make sure it’s still the same kitchen.”

 

She was pulling rope out of a back pack when Richie volunteered to go down with her. Bill went with Ben around the corner to the hall and into the kitchen, right where it was meant to be. By then Bill had taken to holding the wooden head as more of a security pillow than a cursed or dangerous object, curling a finger into the hair and feeling the softness between his finger tips. Ben noticed.

 

He set a heavy hand on Bills shoulder. “Are you okay, buddy?”

 

Bill was immediately self aware of what he was doing and looked down at the thing he cradled in his arms, stumbling over a response. 

 

“I think I’m handling all of this differently than the rest of us.”

 

Ben nodded. Bill noticed he’d grown up to be a strong, rather intimidating man with a contradictingly kind face and a thick, broad body. He squeezed Bills shoulder reassuringly. “You were It’s number one target, weren’t you? That must make things feel even stranger now that we’re back here.”

 

“I was.” Bill answered. A sick pride tugging his heart along with the words. 

 

Commotion began as Eddie burst in from the dining rooms side of the hallway, running past them to grab a chair and lift it in the air, a headless wooden Pennywise quick on his heel. Bill glanced up at that moment, noticing for the first time that this kitchen had no gaping hole in its ceiling where Beverly and Richie should be.


	6. But We Are Not Romeo and Juliet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, from a horrible slow-poke. 
> 
> There's a themed song waiting for you at the bottom of the chapter <3

 

It was just like a Keystone Cops chase or something out of Scooby Doo. The wooden doll of Pennywise running through the room with it’s arms out stretched and headless, Eddie yelling obscenities behind his shoulder and throwing at it anything he could get his hands on. 

 

“Guys, a little help here!” Ben yelled down the hall. 

 

“Ben, they’re somewhere else,” Bill yelled over the crashing plates, pointing at the ceiling above them. “This isn’t their kitchen.”

 

Eddie stood on the counter top on the far side of the room now, the headless body turning in circles unable to locate him. He began to laugh. 

 

“Ed, stop,” Ben whispered.

 

“C-c-come down and we’ll lead It back to the others.

 

The body stumbled over a chair and nearly lost balance sending Ed into a fit of laughter, Ben and Bill cracking sheepish smiles too. 

 

“Eddie!” Ben yelled.

 

The wooden arm of Pennywise shot out across the room, 8 feet long, expanding in girth. It appeared more like a tree log, lodging itself into one of the walls. The other arm shooting out to punch through the cabinet near Eddies head, sending splinters of wood in every direction. Two more dirty, bark covered logs extended out of its torso to break through a window and the other into the wall. The house creaked as it’s insides were punctured. 

 

Eddie panicked and tried to jump down when a log came crashing through the drawers below, breaking apart the counter he stood on and he went sideways, scrambling to keep his limbs out of the wreckage.

 

The head that Bill held so close began to shift from one side to the other, Bill lifting it in his arms to reveal a very Pac Man shaped clown mouth that opened wide when he looked at it. Ben ripped the head away from Bill and threw it across the room but it only righted itself on the floor and began to gnash it’s awful teeth at them.

 

The action snapped Bill out of his solemn mood and he started to climb the logs to get to Eddie just as the wooden head began to roll itself after them making a horrible noise, the logs continuing to burst from their base to create a web around the kitchen. The mangled wooden body in the middle was shredded and almost unrecognizable as Bill took one last look behind them. _Jesus Christ..._

 

The three of them ran from the room into the darkened hall, Ed looking back to see flickering lights and the demolition of the refrigerator, stabbed right through its middle, the munching head rolling after them. Bill was grabbed suddenly and pulled sideways into a broom closet. It was completely black inside and he couldn’t find the door handle as the others pounded on it from the hallway, calling his name. 

 

Bare, claw-like hands wrapped around his waist and he startled as he turned around to face the dark. His hands found a waxy cheek with full wet lips and pleated ruffles against the neck. He stepped forward to smell the candy and flowers. _Why did it smell like flowers?_

 

The enlarged, monstrous claws ran up under his shirt to grip his bare skin and Bill walked them both backward until Its back met the shelving, starting a dominant rash of kissing from both sides. Bill doled out intrusive, hungry laps, trying to convey his worry and excitement. 

 

“Bill! Can you hear us? We’re getting the others!” he could hear someone say, taking the fight with the laughing wooden head along with them.

 

The Clown took it’s hands away from his skin and shoved him back towards the door.

 

“No, I don’t want to go yet,” Bill whispered, stepping toward the Clown again but he was pushed back again against the door, this time turned face first and held there. Clawed fingers grabbed at his pants but Bill got in the way, both pairs of hands fighting over the fabric until Bill gave in and unzipped himself, placing the claws over the hem on his hips.

 

The pants were jerked down but remained thankfully unripped. He let his head rest on the door in front of him as it was suddenly pounded on on the other side by Ben and now Mike, he noticed. He turned his head to try and face the thing behind him but his hair was grabbed and he received a harsh half kiss before being pushed back toward the door, a slick, soaking wet object running up along his backside, between his legs. He let out a stifled shout and the other side of the door was quiet for a moment. 

 

“Bill? Just hang in there!”

 

Bill hit his head against the door. The thing, he guessed was It’s tongue-like genitals that he’d seen that morning, was lapping at him quickly, licking and poking at his entrance with fervor. The strange thing was that the Clown didn’t have It’s hands on him at all. In the dark it almost seemed like he was alone with the slimy thing trying hard to make him scream. And god, he wanted to, burying his shuddering noises into his hand against the door as it began to breach him and work its way inside. 

 

His knee bent forward and Bill draped himself across the door, allowing the thick tongue to travel farther inside. Just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore of this strangeness, Pennywise gripped his hips and pushed in hard and slow, Bill gasping gratefully against the wood. 

 

It happened fast. The large tongue-like thing plunging quick and long into Bill as the Clown wrapped it’s giant claws over his mouth and the other across his waist to pull him back onto its member as It fucked him. He was thankful for the iron grip over his mouth but strangled whimpers still escaped from inside Bill’s throat while his friends began to break the door down. Something flat and heavy pounding against the door in front of him. The tongue seemed to go deeper and grow thicker as it went, Bill knowing full well it’s actual size. The Clown grunted against his ear as it went faster, holding his body to it like a toy. Bill’s eyes rolled backward. Then cruelly, the hand left his mouth and It placed its claws along Bill’s length like a tray. He couldn’t believe it. It took a lot for someone to come untouched this way, and he ached to be touched now, just a grip from It’s hand, just a little pressure. 

 

The tongue inside of him seemed to expand, sending jolting shocks through his body, gliding over his prostate, something only a few women with delicate fingers had done before. A deep ache to be touched building in him as It bit playfully into his neck. Bill cried out as It changed their rhythm to hard, abrupt thrusts, jerking Bill backward onto Itself. Gobs of semen spurted into the Clowns waiting hand. He tried to rut against the mess but it didn’t do much good, he just came hard into nothing, gritting his teeth in desperation.

 

The hand was gone, then the other let go of his waist as the tongue travelled backward and out of him. The time it took made his ragged breath catch. How much of the length had been inside of him? 

 

The others were shouting his name when whatever they were using to break down the door broke through and Bill shakily took his hands away from it. _His hands!_ He could have touched himself, he’d been free the whole time! He stared at them in the dark, unable to see them at all. 

 

Another blow to the door let light in and Bill quickly pulled up his pants and did the buttons, leaning himself up against the shelving of the empty room, his hands squeezing and unsqueezing with nerves.

 

“I’m okay.” He called weakly, surprised at the volume of his voice. He failed to repeat himself to his satisfaction, the door breaking through so Ben could open it from the inside and let everyone in. Mike brought him out into the hall. Everyone was quiet. 

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“What happened?” Beverly asked, standing in front of him and taking his hands in hers. 

 

Bill started to laugh, not able to really look at her or anyone else. “I don’t know, I don’t know- it was dark, I...”

 

He couldn’t keep the afterglow and heat from his face. 

 

“Are you hurt? Oh Jesus, your neck!"

 

Bill's fingers flew to the punctures, a bit of blood coming up from the wound. “No. I think It just wanted to scare me.” Bill looked around at everyone’s faces. “You got in just in time.” 

 

"You need a tetanus shot," Richie mumbled. 

 

Bill wiped the blood away. "If this is all I get from tonight, I'll be happy," he quipped.

 

The jokes deescalated the scene in the hall enough for them to move forward. He asked about the second kitchen but didn’t really hear Beverly’s answer. He couldn’t believe It had just sidetracked the whole night to do that. He could have waited to see It later or even the next day and it couldn’t wait a few hours? 

 

He had missed Pennywise though, and was worried in a way, how they were in It’s house but it was hiding and It could be anywhere around him, close. How they had to battle It’s wooden puppet and head and find their way out of It's giant glowing mouth. But Bill could have restrained himself until afterward. God, it had been only a day...almost. What did that remind him of? 

 

Up ahead, Richie tripped over something on the floor and fell forward as Pennywise stepped out from around the corner. “Gotcha, Richie.” It growled, ignoring the others to bend over and drool along Richies face. It took hold of one of his arms and grabbed his hand at an uncomfortable angle, looking like it was about to break some of Richies fingers and shoulder in the same instant.

 

“Don’t!” Bill shouted angrily, trying to get to the front of the crowd.

 

Stan bolted from the hall and kept going, the others yelling after him to come back. 

 

“Why not?” The Clown teased from the floor, jerking the arm closer. Richie screamed out in pain and Bill charged after It, getting his hands around It’s shoulders before It head butted him off. It hurt and Bill stumbled back, surprised, Pennywise giving him it’s full attention as Richie squirmed under It. Bill rushed It again and Pennywise caught him, making them tumble to the floor. 

 

“C-c-come on, B-b-Billy!” It mocked between the punches Bill began to dispense, uncomfortable as it was to do so now. At this point he knew It had no intention of harming his group, not even a little bit, not a scratch. 

 

Richie got on his feet and watched while the Clown continued to talk. “This will all go on, on and on after you’re in the ground-” 

 

"We've heard it all before!" Richie interrupted.

 

“Oh my god,” Beverly exclaimed behind them, but Bill couldn’t turn to see what it was. Pennywise threw him off easily and got to It’s feet, just before being struck in the back. As It fell, Stan appeared with an emptied crossbow, the arrow stuck right below It's shoulder blade.

 

Bill was speechless. 

 

“You didn’t tell us you had that!” Ben said as Stan reloaded. 

 

“I took the family out for practice a few times but the kids were to irresponsible. This has been in the back hatch for years.” Stan looked amusedly in thought before aiming the weapon forward. “Richie,” he said, and Richie turned a limp Pennywise over onto it’s back as Bill stood up, the arrow sticking sideways into It now. Richie moved Bill to the side too and Bill blinked, a small worry creeping up along his back.

 

The Clown was breathing rapidly as it looked up at Bill, then it was jerked dead in the blink of an eye with a bullet from Richies gun. 

 

Bill took a step back and Stan came up behind him, asking Mike where the heart is, he didn’t want to miss. 

 

He looked away, staring forward as the others descended on the body on the floor. A small golden light caught his eye, in the shadows of the foyer ahead of them. He barely moved as he stared at it, like a trance as his friends had their way by his feet. _Romeo and Juliet._

 

They’d known each other for a few hours before lust and self proclaimed love overtook them and they were married the next day, the day after that- they killed themselves instead of facing life apart. It was ridiculous. 

 

The golden light was like a boon. He’d known Pennywise since he was a child. It was different, and they weren’t in love, it was something else, and it wasn’t dying right now on the floor before him, it was in the light. 

 

He felt arms wrap around him from behind and he looked around to see that it was Eddie, turning slightly away from what the others were finishing up on the floor. He patted his friends hand and held it until it was over, Eddie going to Richie despite the fresh blood on his clothes. “I’m sorry,” Eddie said as they departed, though Bill wasn’t sure what the apology was for. All of it maybe.

 

Bill walked out too without looking back at the body Beverly, Mike, and Ben were analyzing. He sat on the porch while Ed and Richie leaned against the van. Stan came out too with his crossbow and sat with Bill, who willed himself to say something. 

 

“Nice shot.”

 

Stan shrugged. 

 

Beverly came out beaming, blood smudged down her face and on her hands. “Let’s go out!”

 

Richie looked up from the driveway. “What?”

 

“Let’s get cleaned up and go to a bar, is the Falcon open?”

 

Ben came out from behind her with a curious look. “It’s Radcliffe’s now, but yeah it’s open.”

 

“Let’s go!”

 

Ben seemed crestfallen. “I don’t know if the rest of us feel like celebrating. It feels wrong.”

 

Stan got to his feet and hung the bow as far from himself as possible. “I need a drink.”

 

“Me too,” Bill added, standing up from the steps.

 

“What about the body?” Eddie asked,

 

“It disintegrated like ash.”

 

* * *

 

Mike went home to his family, saying any of them were welcome there for as long as they were still in town. 

 

Eddie stayed behind at the only other motel in town while the rest of them went ahead to the rather rowdy town bar. Richie and Beverly celebrating with Stan and Ben sitting thoughtfully with Bill next to them. He wanted to have a good time, and he did. Richie and Beverly had crazy stories that became more colorful and intense with every drink. They didn’t talk about the kids, no one mentioned It. No one brought up their past here in Derry. 

 

Bill walked back to his motel room, looked around inside, took his toothbrush and a water bottle and walked back out into the night. 

 

* * *

 

_You've twisted me out from the inside_

_I am empty, aimless_

_And every day I'll fight not to miss you_  
_Every day I'll lose_

 _You are my weakness_  
_You may be my downfall_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give a listen to Broken by Tapping the Vein after this chapter is through ~ https://tinyurl.com/ycmmuyyf
> 
> Thank you guys so much for the support, it's breath taking.


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